Word of the Day:閃き

The more I thought about who I wanted to fight, the less I could imagine someone. I was just like.. " Someone with long hair "

Maybe a tranny. Yea... I'd fight a tranny.

I mean, they'd technically have the upper hand since they're biologically a guy but.. I think I would have more supporters in this... It feels unfair all around.

I am actually not that violent of a person in actuality. It is just people like to think because I let a lot of things pass/slide that I am easy. I am not. And when I remind them that I am a fucking bear, they think it is not right. Well, there is the whole saying " don't poke the bear "

I mean so many fuck around and really do find out.

I need to buy new butter.

Anyway, no I am not a good fighter. I am a Berserker. There is a difference. Fighters have good instincts under any circumstance. Berserkers only have their instincts flair when they feel threated or angry. It is like the difference between a long distance runner and a sprinter.

I know I keep going to the past, and I know it isn't healthy. I don't think I am still like a part of him spiritually or anything but, I do miss Yuuichirou.

It was nice to have someone I was able to be like a playful kind of weird with and... I didn't feel bad being sort of derpy and we did things. I felt more safe with him but then like I was still streaming which made me feel like shit and also he was still with his ex wife so.. yea, but I mean if we just go off of feelings alone.

It felt like home a bit. and I miss that.

That's the thing with going to my mom's. It wouldn't really be home anymore. I mean we live so close but, there is no point. It would be going back to an empty shell.

It is just a memory.

I think Ia m almost ready to go to bed. I got sad thinking about that.

I hope one day I can feel that homey feeling again. I mean, I am ok by myself. I enjoy it most days. I only dislike it when I have to deal with people I don't like.

I just woke up now. I had a dream but it is hard to say what it was about but it involved me mostly being in a car.

I guess I want to travel. That is no surprise.

It is so crazy how much listening to old Malice Mizer songs calmed me down last night. I think if I didn't listen to that I wouldn't have slept.

I barely remember what I dreamt of but I woke up with the word Tibolt in my mind.

If I looked on google it ended up being an extremely expensive pen. I know who likes pens.

I accidentally took a nap and all the flies came in the apartment. It is also starting to get really hot so, I am not wanting to cook.

The Reddit thing is really bothering me. but that is why I decided to just rest today. Like treat the weekend like a weekend.

I know I should actually keep working on stuff but, I needed a proper nap.

I got word back from the expongement clinic that a lot of my charges are not "ripe" enough for expongement which is annoying for me.

I also regret buying Carls Jr.

They scammed me out of a sandwich. Oh well, I have no more "rewards points" with them, so I won't need to worry about buying another thing from them again.