Word of the Day:朝顔

I managed to get up this morning at 2 am and went to find some cats. I am very proud that I got up when I felt good instead of bed rotting no matter what.

Unfortunately I wasn't in my manic state so they weren't drawn to me too much, but I did see the big black fluffy one at least.

Watching deddy on Youtube, he is telling me that July is going to be shit from the beginning of July. But, he said that I might get something happy that everyone else will be denying or not supportive of. Some snakes I need to get rid of but some hidden supporters might be there. I don't feel like I have confidence differentiating between them but I have survived so far.

I feel like I need to get high and watch it again. I am always afraid of the waves of consciousness but since I managed to wake up early, maybe I can conquer another fear as well.

I do think that his advice to get the fuck out of dodge is a good one but unfortunately I don't have a car and limited funds so it makes it quite hard. Perhaps if I get high a good idea might come about.

I might need to go talk to my aunt and see if she would mind if I stayed with her. I feel like that is the only thing I can do at the moment.

Hmm.. I seem to have the same problems even now.

Morning glory flowers symbolize affectionate or unrequited love, mortality, and the fleeting nature of life due to their single-day blooms. They represent tenacity, hope, and the promise of a new day. Historically, they are associated with September birthdays, the 11th wedding anniversary, and Victorian-era sentimentality.

11th year...11 years before would be.. 2015? I would've been 25. That is when my mind would've been done growing.

I don't know who I was with at the time. I don't think I knew either yuuichirou or Jahon at that time.

I might've still been thinking of Kenta. it would've been like 3 years after we were together.

Nat came to visit me. It is the name I sort of gave the cat. I don't know if it is a girl or boy so I just call it Nat ( It can either be Natthew or Natalie )

I have given her like several things but she likes salmon and cream the best.

She came the same day I met Nathan.

Nat, Nat, Nat... mm yea.

I don't blame him for blocking me, I am much older than him and I was kind of in a miserable position, he knew that and was being kind.

I also think it was weird for him because it was like he was on auto pilot and started driving me to his grandma's house. He is probably used to taking her to the hospital.

I actually have no idea what he was thinking but it was fun for me. It felt like.. I was stuck in a circumstance I didn't like and I finally had company for a while.

I uploaded something to my Youtube now I am considering uploading all my Cedar Hills Composition books to here. I mean, my current Paper Project is to do Vocal so, I am just thinking of how to utilize it to the best of my abilities.

I have already come to terms with the fact I am stuck in this fucking town so I am just trying to make the best of it right now.