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That's the Kind of Friend He Is

For Lana's Fucked-up Wedding Toasts Unofficial challenge

By Paul StewartPublished about 22 hours ago Updated about 22 hours ago 1 min read
That's the Kind of Friend He Is
Photo by Derek Hille on Unsplash

Awright, as most a yee ken, Ahm Tam — the best man an' wan a Frankie's auldest pals. We've been through a load a shite the years.

Ah'm supposed tae tell yee some funny anecdotes aboot oor Francis. Ah didnae wanna drop him in it… but there wis that wan time we were at a fancy clubhouse pool. Ah took a shite in it.

Tae save ma reputation wi one a the lassies there, Frankie took the blame… and actually scooped it out the water wae his bare hawns.

That's the kinda pal Francis is.

The lassie became ma wife.

So cheers tae you Frankie — and congratulations tae the pair a yee!

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: this is for the wonderful Lana's fun Fucked-up Wedding Toasts Unofficial challenge. You have until the end of the month to take part, so do it!

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About the Creator

Paul Stewart

Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.

The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!

Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!

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Comments (11)

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  • A. J. Schoenfeldabout an hour ago

    Oh, I cringed so much at this. But what a good friend Frankie is. (I'm not that good a friend)

  • Lana V Lynxabout 2 hours ago

    OMG, Paul, that is incredibly funny and gross at the same time.

  • Sean A.about 5 hours ago

    Hahahahaha! Great job!

  • Jessica McGlaughlinabout 15 hours ago

    😂 what I good friend cheers to the groom hahaha. Thanks for the funny read!

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout 17 hours ago

    Ewww, that's soooo grossss hahahahahahahahahaha

  • Matthew J. Frommabout 17 hours ago

    There it is! I knew this was coming and you nailed it. Perfect entry sir

  • Sid Aaron Hirjiabout 20 hours ago

    weird friend

  • JBazabout 20 hours ago

    Your mind is a swamp of ideas that flourish the needs of the many

  • I luv the writing in accent!!

  • Harper Lewisabout 21 hours ago

    Ah, now I see it! Well done, goofball!

  • Harper Lewisabout 22 hours ago

    A silent toast. Now that’s truly fucked up! 💖💖💖

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