To Bob: A Testament of Affection
For Lana V Lynx's "Fucked-up Wedding Toasts" Challenge

Hi...
My name iz Brad.
I'mma cloze friend to da groom... although, surprize surprize! big guy!
<aside> He didn't know I waz cummin' t'day.
I've known Bob going on... I don't know, at leas four monthz now... long time... and I wanted to be here on dis auspichiouz occaszion to add my bezz wizhz to the other shit-ton he'll reczeive t'day.
I will not say how Brad and I met... but I do want everybodyz to appreciate what a bold step thiz iz for 'im... literally taking on the responzibilitiezzz... of building a legazy that will make hiz d'ather proud!
That takes a lot of gutz! And I, for one, abmire hiz determi'nashion to change.
Brad izza sexy, passionate man. And I want the bride to know juzz how lucky she iz to be marrying him.
Trust me.
L’CHAIM!!!
~↯
____________________Bolt ⚡

PS- The names have been changed to protect the humiliated.

Comments (2)
Well, now, I see an annulment in the future....
That was hilarious, Bill, with slurred words and everything.