What I Didn’t Say

I knew the name. I had seen Stephen A. Roddewig dropping sarcastic comments here and there. I didn’t know the man, though. We weren’t really in each other’s circles.

Until he decided to call me out.

I was running an unofficial challenge encouraging people to try their best to scare me. His problem? My challenge ran beyond Halloween, and he had an issue with anything Halloween running past October 31st.

He was very mockish and sarcastic.

It would’ve been easy to retaliate. To bite back. To get properly irate.

Cos—don’t fucking tell me what I can and can’t do.

Like when he wrote this:

“No more community-sourced horror challenges. I’m looking at you, Paul Stewart. The ‘Unnerve, Unsettle, And Scare Me’ challenge needs to be wrapped up. Now…”

“Hey, Paul… you can always Quick Edit that date back to today and no one will ever be able to prove it wasn’t always November 1st…”

“Thanks, buddy. Appreciate your cooperation here even though you outrank me now…”

I read it. Then read it again.

Had a few thoughts.

• First—what a prick.
• Second—I’m part of the conversation.
• Third—laughter.

I could have replied a number of stupid ways like a knucklehead.

Instead, I saw the humour in it and doubled down on it. In the comments on his piece. Even cited it in the intro to my winners list for the challenge, noting that I hadn’t changed the deadline as per his suggestion.

I even linked his piece. He’d linked mine. Seemed fair.

I felt that little flash of here we go then.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard. Chest tight. Anger? Amusement? The laugh started in my throat. I let it out, loud, ridiculous.

Retaliate? No. Bite back? Tempting. Laugh? That’s better.

I typed it almost before I realized:

Come for me, Roddewig.

(Looked better in my head. Less threatening. More… playful.)

What happened?

His tone shifted.

Not completely. He sticks to his principles—I’ve come to learn that. But that response—meeting sarcasm with humour—kick-started a back and forth between us.

He even mentioned it in a podcast interview he did with another Vocal creator.

That back and forth is still going today.

His name started popping up in my notifications.

Then in my inbox.

Then in an email thread that didn’t really end (and later added Matthew J. Fromm to the mix).

Advice, questions, drafts, ideas—just… ongoing.

The kind of email thread that all three of us dip in and out of when we have some news, some encouragement, advice, tips, requests or questions. Sometimes it's just a "what we are up to at the moment" thing.

Now it’s normal.

Seeing his name.

Sending something over without thinking twice.

Getting a reply that’s actually useful.

It wasn't a big thing. It was a simple exchange, that if I had been a more angry person or decided to take it too much to heart what he had said, would have ended differently.

I've seen it happen a million times. Snappier replies that turn nasty quickly, until everything escalates needlessly. I even wrote about this kind of phenomenon in my challenge winning piece We Call This Order.

It wouldn't have taken much to derail everything. Just one slightly off comment.

There's a version of all this that ends very differently. Where we never speak again. He becomes yet another person I've muted. Another commenter that I half remember getting annoyed about.

Instead, Stephen became someone I look for—someone whose opinion matters to me. Someone I trust.

But instead, I chose humour.

All from not rising to it.

Or maybe from rising to it differently.