in my innocent body

in my innocent body i lay beneath the sky

the light summer breeze keeps messing up my curls

i am feeling, i am alive

mom keeps bringing me strawberries from the garden

dad continues to ask about school and friends

there are visible smile lines on my cheeks

i am feeling, i am alive.

in my driven body i strive for the best

the muffled chatter of people and scribbles on the chalkboard

i am feeling, i am alive

mom keeps bragging to other moms about me

dad smiles at the “got a 100%!!” text i sent

the blue beneath my eyes deepens

i am feeling, i am alive.

in my troubled body i starve my soul of nourishment

what did i do to deserve this, i was good

i am feeling too much, i am alive too little

mom and dad are worried sick

“grades do not matter.

you should eat more.

why are you doing this to yourself?”

honestly

i am just as clueless as all of you are

in my decomposing body i mourn to the bone

every feeling in this miserable brain of mine

the outside is so beautiful

but how beautiful could it really be

if my teeth are rotting from the damn strawberries

the summer breeze tangles up my dull hair

and cheekbones are replacing the smile lines i once had

i no longer feel, but am i alive…?