Love That Never Quite Dies

I was never quite sure what above love that drove me to regret

To a longing I never cared for before you

I didn’t yearn for my hopes or my dreams

I never cried when my dreams failed but when i failed with you

When I saw a wholesome Instagram reel that reminded me of you

I wept with the tears I refused to cry for years

Every memory of you was as beautiful as the dust on a long unread book

That sat in the corner of my room hoping to be picked next

But every night I sighed and choose a different one

Because I was never prepared to cry

I didn't want to yearn again for the umpteenth time

And I’m not a perfect man, my sobriety failed me

As much I choose to ignore it

So, one day I breathed your book into life

Watching the scattered dust become our memories

As I wept in regret and a sense of yearning

It's not a prolonged sadness but a discipline moving forward

I know I can’t sit here and choose the same things

Hoping for a different result

But every night my heart betrays me in a different way

I yearn for a life I didn’t have to make the hard decisions

Yet I choose to accept my own cowardness

I made the choice to love all of you, and found myself loving some of you

All while hoping I would love some of myself