Bad habits
One day.
She sat in the living room looking straight at the tv while he walked up and down the hall, letting her know just how much she was ruining his life. It didn't phase her anymore. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He yelled. "This is why no one you love stays around... they don't want to put up with your bullshit." She slowly moved her eyes to him, and as she did, she thought about what she was going to pack when he was finally done and left to make her feel like he was gone for good. As he spoke she mouthed every word he said... because it was like a forever spinning record player that was caught on a scratch.
By Suzann Pedersen4 years ago in Confessions
switching from self-sabotage to self-respect
Sometimes we commit mistakes that we think are irreversible to the point that we keep ourselves in the very cycle that we have been trying to break out of. My biggest mistake was that in a time where I knew I needed to be a serious adult I abandoned serious things that needed my attention more than me needing to feel like I could be a reckless child.
By Ash4 years ago in Confessions
Will I See You?
Most don't know they can start at the top. They don't have be on the bottom of the totem pole the last one thought about. Even the ones at the top are the last ones thought about. It's hard work stepping to the side and allowing others to shine more then you do. Even though your the one who set all of everything up but not for yourself but for others to thrive.
By Anthony Tenacious4 years ago in Confessions
Sometimes You Have to Ramp Up Your Violence
My friends and I went to Kordon’s dance club every weekend and generally had a blast. There was a guy that also went regularly who was just a buffoon. He’d invariably get drunk and do what can only be described as a chicken dance and because of that he earned the nickname, in our circle, “chicken man”.
By J.D. Bradley4 years ago in Confessions
Sleep Was My Only Friend
I hate to be this person but I guess I need to still let this one out. As a child I had no one consistently there for me and sleep was my only friend. Instead of actual objects, people, or make beliefs I had the concept of escaping reality, my reality as the only thing to protect me. I lived in a state of self hate from a young age and it has followed me through my adolescence into my early adulthood and it’s still scary. The concept of hating myself and having others hate me too has built up in this too much of an overwhelming happening. I never understood why. I never tried to find out why either at least not until now. Now that I’m at an age where it’s getting harder to hide away I must amplify my true purpose in life and undertake my fears and conquer them instead. Conquering my fears sounds somewhat easy and then completely difficult all at the same time.
By Keanna Barry 4 years ago in Confessions
You Can't Win If You Don't Play
I have a problem. Actually, I have a lot of problems, but let’s try to narrow the field a bit. I have a gambling problem. It’s minuscule, really. Tiny. Hardly worth mentioning, were it not for the fact that I break out in a cold sweat every time I pass a lotto machine, or the lottery counter at the grocery store, or the gas station, or the hundreds of other places where lottery tickets are apparently sold. I haven’t seen them at the library yet, but frankly, I’m surprised.
By Bev Potter4 years ago in Confessions
Why do we eat?
The quick answer would be just to survive, if you do not eat, you die. But when we are devastated after a breakup, waiting for an email or a call from work, or for some test results and suddenly feel the urge to have a sugary snack, does our life depend on that?
By Antonella Perazzoni4 years ago in Confessions
Harsh Reality
I didn’t wake up one day and tell myself…hey Brittany,let’s get some Heroin and a needle so you can inject yourself only to lose your self, self-esteem, morals, your precious children and everything you own. (Material) It took years of pain medication to turn into years of Heroin use. The dark road not only consumed me but also my husband. He died of an overdose in 2015 while I was serving my first prison sentence. You would think that losing my children and husband would have been enough for me to stop using. Nope, I spiraled down even more. I became homeless, living on the streets and in abandoned houses. Prostituting myself. Looking back at that makes my skin crawl. To think that I was walking the streets and down allies at 3am getting in strange men’s cars. Being raped at gun point. Still none of that mattered. I still chose to get high. The end of summer 2017 my mom let me come back home. I turned myself into the Miami county jail January 2018. I did a two week sanction and the day I was released I went strait to Crisis care, where I got on the vivitrol shot. Things were great at first, but I got bored. I went on a crack/Xanax binge. My mom calls them my retard pills. I have absolutely no filter when I’m under the influence of Xanax. Well while binging I didn’t check in with my P.O. (probation officer) needless to say I got arrested for the warrant they put out for absconding my probation. I did six months in Miami County jail then went to the Nova house (inpatient treatment) I did great! First time I ever completed any rehab. When I got home things were great but that was short lived. Started using again and said fuck probation catch me when you can. That attitude ended up with me getting my second prison number. My second prison sentence was different than the first. I wasn’t all up in the mix. I stayed to myself, listened to my music and read. I can’t really explain what happened but I had a spiritual awakening. I found myself and that’s when it started. I set three small realistic goals for when I got out. 1.Get my mind right 2. Get my License 3.Get back in school…. Fast forward to now…. I accomplished all three of my goals and then some. I work on my mental everyday! I have my license and a car of my own. (No car note) I’m currently going to a local community college. The only down fall is no one wants to hire a felon. It’s so frustrating when you work on self and you’re getting your shit back together that you can’t find a good job. I have paid my debt to society and it’s the breaks when No one wants to give you a chance. That’s the Harsh Reality of being an X-con with substance abuse issues.
By Brittany Reagan4 years ago in Confessions
