Whimsical Thoughts

do you ever feel like you messed up?

felt you can’t keep up?

messed up badly and let everyone down?

causing a frown?

well that’s how i feel today. i know what’s wrong with me, though. once i’m presented with an opportunity to prove my esteem, i mess it up because im nervous. shy. not confident.

my words spill out faster than my mind comprehends, like beans pouring out of packet with a spoilt ziplock.

well now i’m on my way to take a train.

ready to forget all the rain

pattering against the walls of my mind like a grey cloud

forcing my smile into a pout.

The train. a man made earthworm which burrows itself into the deep ground, winding turns and zealous speeds, whisking people away to their desired destination. the inside of the earthworm is cold, chilly, a cool respite from the long walk i take to ride it. i love it though, sitting in the earthworm is therapeutic in some way. there are plates of rectangles attached to the inside of its body, letting people ride it like a rollercoaster. you sit down and feel the cool of its breath against the line of sweat coating your hairline, and suddenly you feel like you’re wearing a headband made out of ice. the buzzing sound it makes, as if calling out to its mates, blurring our thoughts into everything else, and suddenly they don’t matter so much anymore. some people refuse to listen to the earthworms sounds though, they plug in their earphones these white rubber coated strings that camouflage with the blood vessels of the earthworms, which is funny because it seems like they are listening to stethoscopes of the earthworms heartbeat. thousand and one doctors living the the body of the earthworm. but these tiny manmade devices don’t belong in the earthworm, they belong outside in the cold, artificial, cemented streets, you might think. what a contamination to natural earth. but fret not, this earthworm is made by mankind too. unfortunately, almost everything is made by us, dominating creatures who mimic nature and twist it into something too-good-to-be-true.

the world has changed honestly, everyone plugging in these hearing devices, literally cutting off one of their connections to reality. everyone looking down at glassy screens. its so funny how something so small and flat could capture the attention of someone so much longer than their own mother talking to them. its a sad, silent and disappointing shift in mankind, soon we will be all baits to a hook, absorbed and consumed by the pros technology has to offer, and its cons will soon fade into mindless oblivion. soon, connections crack and relationships break, because of these tiny computers everyone possesses. i’m holding one right now, blending in with the masses. oh, why is so hated to be different? stand out, be yourself. what is myself? or habe i lost it and gave my phone a soul instead? that’s messed up and we all know it. why do I spend countless hours obsessing over someone halfway across the world? what good does it do except make me forget myself? no, we shouldn’t be staring at glamorous and heavy made up faces, we should be staring at ourselves, move towards life’s only goal, which is to understand who we are and love that person. the closest you could ever get to someone is yourself. if you think about it, honestly, every physical detail about us is just a shell, it’s just something to proof that we are something, it’s just characters or avatars in the video game of life. it just helps us carry out orders from our consciousness. so what we are? we are just a mere knowledge, a knowing, a soul who chose this body except not by choice. so why judge? why compare our shells we didn’t even choose? the world is so so good at matching a horrid soul with a gorgeous face, a beautiful soul with a repelling case. but honestly, we’re all the same. we’re all just pinning each other against each other, but deep down, we are all just an equally insignificant, small consciousnesses in this universe.