Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Psyche.
Video Games, Depression, and a Seemingly Unlikely Way to Cope
If I sat here typing this ten years ago, I couldn't tell you where I'd be, how I'd feel, and what I'd want to feel. It's a reality that 2.6% (roughly 5.6 million people) of the American Population a year - must face every waking minute once they crawl out of bed. It's a disorder that isn't easily taken care of unless medicated to an extent that even medication may not help without some guidance from doctor. It's also a reality I live with. One I've been living with for nearly sixteen years out of my thirty - going on thirty one years of life. There's times where waking up feels like walking through a tar pit while dealing with a monsoon at the same time. It's one that can easily be calmed when grabbing onto a PlayStation 4 controller or even an Xbox One controller.
By Dustin Murphy8 years ago in Psyche
Old Lovable Pinky In My Clean Bed
My husband had just left for work not long ago and I was almost to sleep, when I heard a tiny thud to the floor in my daughters’ room. I tiredly reach for my phone only to discover that it is 6:27am as I hear another thud land right next to me. Opening another eye, I see my 6-year-old’s bright energized face (I’ll call her C) and her coveted Pinky, the pink elephant, on my bed. Thanks to my newborn’s late-night feeding and projectile vomit party, sleep last night wasn’t very long. As I collect my thoughts as to how to handle Pinky on my bed, I try not to let my OCD win, especially before 7am! I shouldn’t let C’s stuffed animal on my bed bother me so much. Many would say, ‘it’s just a stuffed animal on your bed, oh well. What’s the big deal?’ Yes, you’re right, but to an OCD individual it’s a lot more than you even know.
By Stacey Gividen8 years ago in Psyche
This World
A lot of stuff has been weighing on my mind a lot of pressure is on my shoulders. Why can all of this be a dream? Why can I just wake up and all of this will be over? Sitting here trying to figure what to do, my mind says leave but my heart just won't let go. Everything seems to be falling apart even when I deliver the most griped. Why can’t it just stay the way it's supposed to be just all of us together. The way I feel right now man I just shake my head at all this. All the pressures that are on my shoulders I just want it to be over don't want to see another day and still be in the same place as I was before.
By Angie Ramos8 years ago in Psyche
Dear Younger Self: You're Not Alone and That's Okay
Years upon years ago, I felt the world was too big for me. A part of me even felt I wasn't meant to be a part of it. Years ago I also suffered more from depression than I do now. This is a story of mine you've read a multitude of times when it comes to me, but you would also know that I'm about awareness for depression, suicide awareness, and even autism. You would also know that I am one that supports the idea of how to include these kinds of people into society, hobbies I share, but also helping others like myself push through anything that may be holding them back from continuing on with life.
By Dustin Murphy8 years ago in Psyche
Living Through The Days
It's hard — living each day with this feeling inside, living each day with these thoughts, living each day just to get through. I never knew how much this feeling could affect anyone to a point of no return. I live this way. My life has revolved itself around anxiety and depression. Waking up isn't the same as before. Going to work is so much harder. Seeming happy is the toughest.
By Lindsay Garcia8 years ago in Psyche
The Long Dark Road: How Being a Creator and Playing DOOM Has Helped Save My Life
If you were to know me, you would find me to be that funny friend, that one that would be known as the class-clown goof, and the one that would eventually stop being funny from day-to-day. You would never know, however, that the reason the jokes stopped is because the reality would set in that I've grown comfortable enough to drop the act. That I finally let my mask fall off. You wouldn't also know, I'm one of those ones, just like Robin Williams, that I'd be the funny guy up until the very end. That I would deflect my suicidal thoughts, my self-harming tendencies, and my inner struggles into forms of toxicity while gaming.
By Dustin Murphy8 years ago in Psyche
Depression: The Battle You Can Win
Depression is a battle, one that some people do not win. It’s a very crippling mental illness. One minute, you’re sleeping non-stop. The next, you’re up all night and day with so many thoughts running through your mind. You either stop eating or you eat too much, too frequently. You begin to cry all the time. You start to push away loved ones because you feel as though they don’t understand. You wonder if the world would be better off without you. Some turn to alcohol and/or drugs to cope. Some people even resort to self-harm. Those who do not win the battle with depression think that taking their own life is the only way out. It’s not. It's the worst and most permanent way out.
By Katie Schmidt8 years ago in Psyche
My Origins of Self-Loathing
In an era populated with selfies, Instagram posts of perfect lives and adventures, and a barrage of Facebook posts showcasing the best of most people's days - it is easy to feel insecure. It is also easy to feel despondently lost, trapped in work positions that are unfulfilling or meaningless - or generally stuck at the "starting gate".
By Kat Kinast8 years ago in Psyche
Feeling Something
It's waking up and feeling sad, but then feeling content because at least you are feeling something at all. This sadness is something that sometimes comes with know discernable reason. You can wonder, and over analyze, and try to find a reason for your emotions... but this only creates a larger pit of despair. Then the room darkens, and the guilt falls into place.
By Alexandria Chernenko8 years ago in Psyche
5 Easy Steps to Relieve Anxiety
Anxiety is a state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning, in others words anxiety takes place when we behave or act in an apprehensive manner. Many people suffer from this issue without even realizing it, living their life feeling as if they are living their life on the edge.
By Oksana Kabatoff8 years ago in Psyche
Maureen and Lucia
When Maureen comes to visit, she doesn't knock, she bursts through the doors making her presence known. Her clothes are always bright, her hair and makeup perfect. She comes it and immediately you can feel her, she's warm, confident, beautiful, full of life, happy. So happy it makes you forget that there was ever any sadness. She radiates sunshine, flowers, and every happy memory you have. She is the first warm spring day after a long hard winter. She comes through the house opening all the curtains, to let the light in. She says in the sweetest way that the house needs some fresh air. When she paints she uses the brightest most vivid colors. When she is here, we eat. We eat so much we forget that hunger even exists. When she is here all of our work is done, our house is in pristine condition, our homework done well, not late, not half assed. Effort, time and the desire to do it all is there. Friends visit more, we go out more, we enjoy our days and we laugh until tears are running down our cheeks. We are better friends, better lovers, better sisters, we are just better people when she is here. Sometimes Maureen talks too fast, she says it's like her thoughts are bees searching the give for the queen and can't get them out fast enough. She laughs and changes thoughts again. Maureen doesn't like rules, Maureen doesn't like to listen, follow directions. Maureen says rules are meant to be broken, Maureen says taking our own path is better than following others. Maureen says it's okay to do bad things sometimes. Otherwise we waste our forgiveness. Maureen takes on a lot, and always wants more to do. Maureen talks to men who are emotionally unavailable because she believes she is the exception to all the rules and to all men. And besides, who doesn't like a little one night fun. Maureen makes life fun and exciting again.
By Ashlee Coreson8 years ago in Psyche
