Humor
Being Dead
Nobody asked me if I wanted to be dead. The universe didn’t host a game show where I got to pick what was behind door #1: an all-expense-paid vacation; door #2, a comfortable retirement; or door #3, DEAD. I was just walking down the street when, literally, a bolt out of the blue hit me square on the top of my head. In fact, it was a 10mm, case-hardened, steel bolt from a plane traveling at thirty thousand feet that worked itself free. Nice one Karma! Who knew, luck has a sense of humor.
By Mark Gagnon4 years ago in Fiction
That's Just My Baby Daddy: THE BOOK
Classes at Tesst were all done. It was the summer of 2005. As part of the program, I was required to work at a medical clinic unpaid for 30 days. Tesst called it an "externship". My clinic schedule was 8 am to 4 pm. I still wanted money so I worked at Popeye's on Weekends. I was exhausted. I was working six days a week. I was doing 8 hours a day for free Monday through Friday, then my best friend and I worked 15 to 18 hours on Saturday and was off on Sundays. I would come home and go to sleep. I couldn't even make it upstairs. I would come in and crash on the couch. I was always so tired. It was normal for me to work several hours without eating or drinking anything. This one particular Saturday, it was hot outside and hot inside too because of the hot grease and the hot lights on the chicken and biscuit oven. I was used to that because it wasn't my first summer working there. So, I'm in there working as usual when all of a sudden I start to feel weird. I sat down on the floor with my back against a cabinet and pulled my legs to my chest. I rested my head on my knees. Next thing I know, I'm at a table in the lobby surrounded by the whole staff. Everbody was looking at me. There was a large cup of water a piece of chicken in front me. Apparently, I had lost consciousness while I was sitting there. I drank some water and ate some of the chicken. I got back to work. I was on my period and I'm already anemic so I figured that was why I passed out. I had gone to the bathroom and noticed my period had stopped. My cycle has always been like clockwork. It lasted 7 days and always started the first week of every month. My period had never lasted only 3 days. Something, women's intuition perhaps, told me to take a pregnancy test. As soon as I got off work I went to Giant and got a test. I couldn't wait until I got home. I went straight to the restroom and peed on that stick. Tests today are almost instantaneous. Back then, they took up to 5 minutes. I slipped it back into it's wrapper and hid it in the baby changing station table. I walked around a bit to kill time. Five minutes is actually a long time. It felt like forever. I had set a timer in my phone. It dinged.
By Latoya Giles 4 years ago in Fiction
How Shopping At Target Ruined My Self-Esteem And Crushed My Soul. Top Story - April 2022.
We have three Target locations in our area. One close to where we live, one about 15 miles away, and one in the elite, McMansion area near Eagle, Idaho. I found myself over that way one afternoon and decided to give it a try.
By The Mouthy Renegade Writer4 years ago in Fiction
She Is Trying
N.B. Sorry I did not publish on friday I hope you all still enjoy it and I will get things out in a more timely manner. Faith Penny went live every friday on Facebook. The amount of time she stayed on varied depending on what task she was up to. It had started with quick 10 minute segments of her showing how to properly fold a fitted sheet or how to make fancy place settings. No one watched, though, and at first she didn't mind much. The only people she wanted to watch were her children, but they never did.
By E. J. Strange4 years ago in Fiction
The Office that never was...Spec Script
TEASER EXT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY The parking lot is empty save for one car that is in the parking lot. It is quiet. The sun has been up for about an hour. It is a beautiful morning. A SILVER CAR pulls into the parking lot and moves into a parking spot near the door. Seconds later, a BLUE CAR pulls into the parking lot and moves into the spot RIGHT NEXT to the silver car. Out of the silver car comes OSCAR MARTINEZ. He is dressed casually, carrying his briefcase. He nods TO THE CAMERA. He looks over to the blue car and we see...KEVIN MALONE stepping out of the blue car. He is DRESSED IN SWEATS. Not casual at all. He doesn't carry a briefcase, but does carry a stack of papers with him. He ALMOST DROPS them, but saves it and then looks proud of himself.
By Marc Quaranta4 years ago in Fiction
Pride, Prejudice & the Frat House: Part 1
I’m not that girl. I’m not the one who parties until 3 am at some Fraternity I would not be caught dead in on any given day. I’m not the girl who dances with random guys and then tears off her dress in the middle of a living room.
By Mycheille Norvell4 years ago in Fiction
