movie review
Movie reviews for horror fans; from gruesome bone-chillers to dark horror thrillers, a showcase for frightful films that seek to entertain and to terrify.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Yellowbrickroad' (2010)
Great low budget film! I’m calling it right now. This is a Reed Alexander "Must Watch." And here’s the thing, it’s partially found footage which I HATE. But here it doesn’t matter. I mean, the characters are supposed to be a professional film crew so I absolutely wouldn’t forgive them for that "Shaky Camera" bullshit. Here’s the thing though. It was more of a hybrid. While there is a lot of first-person filming, that starts to fade away as the movie progresses and eventually completely disappears. Eventual it’s almost like some mysterious antagonist if filming the crew from the outside.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Bird Box' (2018)
Let me preface this by saying I've never been impressed with Sandra Bullock as an actress. From Speed to Miss Congeniality, I've always looked at her acting career in general as meh. In my opinion, the only award she ever deserved was a Razzy.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Weird and Pissed Off Mini-Reviews Vol. 1
Navigating the seemingly endless library of horror entertainment is a chore that so few want to take on. Dozens of movie streaming services, a myriad of independent developers, and fairly unrestricted self-publishing platforms make finding worthwhile horror movies, games, and books a chore.
By Mark LoProto7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'We Are Still Here' (2015)
This movie was trying my fucking patience. It was so melodramatic and brooding for the first 20 minutes. It was almost a French art film. Fuck, I think there were four lines total in the first 20 minutes. You can barely pick out a fuck thing about what's going on. Most of it's inferred. I appreciate that they treat you like an adult and expect you to figure it out rather than prattling on in some exposition, but Jesus fucking Christ, throw me a bone here. This movie came DAMN close to almost failing the 30 Minute Rule. I mean it was 27 minutes or some shit before demons started crawling out of the walls. Too fucking close...
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Jason X' (2002)
I honestly can't understand why fans of the franchise hate on Jason X so much. They act like the first seven movies are somehow amazing masterpieces in horror. A long ass time ago, I did a full review of the first one and most of the first seven. Friday The 13th (1980)
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
'Friday the 13th'—Beating a Dead Horse and Having Fun With It
Friday the 13th, the original film, is a very interesting topic. It created one of the most iconic series in pop culture history, but at the same time it’s nothing more than an average b-movie riding on the success of Halloween. Even Victor Miller, the writer of the movie, has stated that it was meant to be a rip-off of the classic slasher. Now hearing that, you may think that I don’t like this movie. Don’t get me wrong, I love this movie. I love the whole damn series. I own every movie and I watch them religiously, even the reboot (which isn’t as bad as most people say it is). It’s just interesting that this monster of a series had such a humble beginning. But enough about that. You’ve seen the title. You’re probably thinking, “are you gonna shit on the greatest horror franchise of all time?” And yes, yes I am. But in a great way. As you’ve figured out by now, I’m talking about how Friday the 13th is beating a dead horse and having fun with it.
By Joey Quiggins7 years ago in Horror
'Hereditary' - A Movie Review
I am still trying to re-adjust my jaw from having it fall to the ground so many times. Trailers. You either love them or hate them. Some give away too much, while others hide twists so well that you swear you walked into the wrong theater.
By Marielle Sabbag7 years ago in Horror
'Escape Room' and Low Expectations
There's something of a stigma that comes with PG-13 movies, and rightfully so. It's an extremely fruitful audience–attracting teenagers not yet seventeen, the heart of profit. PG-13 horror is practically a riskless market, and thus, houses some of the most passionless, terrible, cash-grab films of their respective years. And it works.Truth or Dare, a movie with a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes and an even more dismal average audience reaction, grossed almost a hundred million dollars worldwide. A hundred million. Ouija, sporting an even lower 6% on RT, made over a hundred million. You'll find similar examples littered through the past decade: Slender Man, Wish Upon (what is it with Joey King and these movies?), The Lazarus Effect—it happens incessantly. As much as I want to fault these filmmakers for their unending heartless production, I understand where they're coming from. It's a profitable market.
By hannah brostrom7 years ago in Horror
'Halloween' (2018) Review
Halloween takes place 40 years after Michael Myers murdered five people on Halloween night in 1978. We're supposed to go into this movie completely ignoring the second, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth movie. In my opinion, you should go in thinking of the first AND second one.
By Cassie Fetto7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Pact' (2012)
OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING BORING! It didn't fail my "30 Minute Rule," but really, it should have. This movie jumps right into the plot, and the really creepy stuff starts happening no more than 15 minutes in... but then, there's just this fucking lull till the last 15 minutes. I really am thinking about changing the 30 Minute Rule to "if nothing happens for over 30 minutes." Housebound had the same damn problem. Actually, this movie is a lot like Housebound without the comedy, to the point were I had wondered if Housebound was as spoof of this movie.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Movie Review 'Dry Blood'
Dry Blood stars Clint Carney as Brian Barnes, a drug addict desperately hoping to get clean. After waking up in his car in some lonely Los Angeles alley, with no idea what he did in the preceding days, Brian decides he wants to quit. So, Brian calls a friend to be his sponsor and join him as he dries out a cabin he owns on a remote, California mountainside.
By Sean Patrick7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'House of Last Things' (2013)
Let's talk about how you definitely don't fucking start a movie... golf in slow motion. Why THE FUCK on God's green Earth would you intentionally want to make the most boring sport in the world even more boring by playing it in slow motion?! Who fucking thought that was a brilliant opener?! Better watch out for that eighth hole, that eighth hole is fucking cursed... REALLY?! I have no fucking clue what they were trying to accomplish with golf in slow motion. I'm thinking about naming retarded openings "Golf In Slow Motion" and adding it to the Mental Vomit list. That's how fucking dumb the opening to this movie was. It deserves its own category of bad plot devices. Even the fucking mayonnaise on white bread people who some-fucking-how convince themselves that they actually like watching golf, probably wouldn't watch it in slow motion.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
